Reflections from the Fire

   I was terrified. We had talked for years about having kids, only to face continued disappointments. When the idea of adoption was discussed as a couple, it sounded like a good idea. But there I was, standing in the delivery room as another woman was about to give birth to a child. Would I love her as my own? Would I feel that connection that so many parents talk about? I knew my wife would love her. But I don't have that motherly instinct. I'm awkward around kids. My nieces and nephews were all scared of me when they were little. So, when the doctor told our birth mom to push, I asked myself, "Will she really be mine?"    When Sheila and I first met, I took her to a bar and pool hall for our first date. It was dark and musty, and smelled of cigarette smoke. The floor had sticky spots from spilled beers that squeaked under my shoes as I walked around the pool table lining up my next shot. We didn't drink. We didn't smoke. I really didn't even...

   When I was just a boy, I remember getting excited every time I heard a siren. I’d search excitedly for the Fire Engine or Police Cruiser speeding by with lights flashing. I watched in awe as my heroes rushed to danger to save the day. I remember thinking those rescuers were so brave and must have amazing stories and experiences to tell. While I often spoke of being a Civil Engineer someday, deep down, I really wanted to be a Fire Fighter. I wanted to be brave, I wanted to be a hero to kids just like me, and I wanted to have my own stories to tell.    After dropping out of college during my third year, I had finally made the decision to pursue my dream of becoming a Fire Fighter. I enrolled into an EMT course and began learning the basics of emergency medical care. It was a new experience being in an educational class that I actually enjoyed. Having not graduated High School but settling for my GED instead, I had a history of hating school. But there I was, af...